Today is Friday. May 30, 2014.

Today is Friday. When I couldn’t hold myself from being rude to everyone. Beautiful Friday for whoever who never know me.

Today is Friday. When everything were mixing. Messed up. Bad, good, confusing, doubt, believe, lie, truth, fact, were mixing. Messed up. Again, messed up.

Today is Friday. For many times I asked to myself, “what do happen in my life, actually?” “what do happen with me, exactly?”

Today is Friday. Many things happen to my life, recently. Many things happen with me, recently. Pressures comes from everywhere. I am trained. Had given things I don’t like. Have to do things I really know nothing. Have to hold myself from messing someone else’s job. I have to hold myself. But, today I can’t.

Everythings come suddenly when I am in the middle of my receiving. That ambition, that plan, that proud, people’s story. In the end, i was not capable at all. People don’t give that kind of thing we call ‘trust’. Firstly, people trust me. Slowly, people don’t trust me. Firstly, i think ‘ah, okay... I can do this. This kind of job, you know, hard but if I want I can.’ Slowly, I think ‘Ah... okay, i can’t. It’s okay, because someone else ----.’

Today is Friday. When finally I feel so useless. When finally I can;t hold my anger any longer. When finally I can’t hold my disappoinment any longer. I was disappointed.

Today is Friday. When finally I hurt many hearts who know nothing happen. When finally I betray myself, not doing my job properly, leaving my job aimlessly.

Today is Friday. When finally I need my time being alone for a moment. When finally I run away, again. 

Today is Friday...